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Photos,
Jokes, Stories, Anything You Find Funny Will Be Posted Here.
More
photos that might make you smile!
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A LITTLE APRIL FOOLISHNESS
When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
I almost had a psychic girlfriend, but she left me before we met.
How do they get deer to cross at those yellow lines?
A fool and his money are soon audited.
What happens if you're scared half to death twice?
I intend to live forever. So far so good.
Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.
Time may be a great healer, but it's a horrible beautician.
I am in shape. Round is a shape.
We have enough youth; how about a fountain of smart?
SOFT SOAP
DUZ you DREFT with the TIDE? VEL now is
the time to CHEER up, if you want JOY. The trend is to BREEZE to Church on Sunday. Too many people
WOODBURY their head in a pillow or work to make their car SPARKLE, forgetting the Lord's day was made for
LESTOIL. DOVE will never need to be sent with SOS for you to put God first.
Maybe we ought to DIAL you, to remind you of the IVORY place
up yonder?
Worship is a LIFEBUOY! So why not WISK yourself out of bed
each Sunday.
Dress up SPIC AND SPAN and DASH like a COMET to
Sunday School and Church.
As you sing praises and hear his word, you will get wonderful CLEANSER
for your soul, and you will feel like MR. CLEAN all week.
2-26-05
Here are 3 that were received in emails:
How to Tell the Sex of a Fly
A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around
with a fly swatter.
"What are you doing?" She asked.
"Hunting Flies" He responded.
"Oh. Killing any?" She asked.
"Yep, 3 males, 2 Females," he replied.
Intrigued, she asked. "How can you tell them apart?"
He responded, "3 were
on a beer can, 2 were on the phone."
HAVING MOM OVER FOR DINNER
You don't even have to be a mother to enjoy this one...
Brian Hester invited his mother over for dinner. During the course of the meal, Brian's mother couldn't help but keep
noticing how beautiful Brian's roommate, Stephanie, was. Mrs. Hester had long been suspicious of a relationship between Brian
and Stephanie, and this had only made her more curious. Over the course of the evening, while watching the two react, Mrs.
Hester started to wonder if there was more between Brian and Stephanie than met the eye. Reading his mom's thoughts, Brian
volunteered. "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you Stephanie and I are just roommates." About a week later,
Stephanie came to Brian saying, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy
ladle. You don't suppose she took it, do you?" Brian said, "Well, I doubt it, but I'll send her a e-mail just to be sure."
So he sat down and wrote:
Dear Mother:
I'm not saying that you "did"
take the gravy ladle from the house, I'm not saying that you "did not" take the gravy ladle. But the fact remains that
one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.
Love,
Brian
Several days later, Brian
received a letter from his mother that read:
Dear Son:
I'm not saying that you "do" sleep with Stephanie, and I'm not saying that you "do not" sleep with Stephanie. But the fact
remains that if she was sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by
now.
Love, Mom"
LESSON OF THE DAY... NEVER LIE TO YOUR MOTHER!
Best Single Ad
This has to be one of the best singles
ads ever printed. It is reported to have been listed in The Atlanta Journal.
SINGLE BLACK FEMALE seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant.
I'm a very good looking girl who LOVES to play. I love long walks in the woods, riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping,
and fishing trips, cozy winter nights lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand.
I'll be at the front door when you get home from work; wearing only what nature gave me. Call (404) 875-6420 and ask
for Daisy, I'll be waiting...
HOTLINE FOR ABUSED EGGS:
Call 1-800-OICU812
RIDDLES
Where do cows hang their paintings?
-In moo-seums.
What do birds eat for breakfast?
-Shredded tweet.
What kind of TV programs do wild animals like?
-Game shows.
What kind of cheese does a dog like on his pizza?
-Mutts-arella.
What's a duck's favorite dish?
-Quackeroni and cheese.
When does a cucumber laugh?
-When it's a tickled pickle.
What do you call the battle between Coca-Cola and Pepsi-Cola?
-A fizz fight.
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